Better than an elf on a shelf

Amnesia makes you forget you have either

Savor the Flavor with a Salmon Rice Bowl! 🍣🥢 Ingredients: - 2 cups cooked sushi rice - 1 lb salmon fillet - 1 avocado, sliced - 1 cucumber, thinly sliced - 2 tablespoons mayonnaise - 1 tablespoon sriracha - 2 tablespoons soy sauce - 1 tablespoon rice vinegar - 2 green onions, sliced - 1 tablespoon sesame seeds Preparation Steps: 1. Start by cooking your sushi rice according to the package instructions. Once it's ready, set it aside to cool. 2. In a small bowl, whip up a zesty spicy mayo by combining the mayonnaise and sriracha. This will add a delightful kick to your bowl! 3. Meanwhile, season your salmon fillet with soy sauce and rice vinegar for extra flavor. 4. Heat a non-stick pan over medium heat and cook the salmon for about 4-5 minutes on each side, until it's tender and fully cooked through. 5. Once cooked, gently flake the salmon into bite-sized pieces. 6. In a serving bowl, create a mouthwatering layer starting with the sushi rice. Top it with the flaked salmon, followed by slices of avocado, thinly sliced cucumber, and a sprinkle of green onions. 7. Drizzle your homemade spicy mayo over the top and finish with a sprinkle of sesame seeds for added texture. Preparation Time: 15 mins | Cooking Time: 15 mins | Total Time: 30 mins Nutritional Information: 450 calories per serving | Makes 2 servings Suggested Pairings: Complete your meal with a warm bowl of miso soup or a refreshing seaweed salad for an Asian-inspired feast! #salmonbowl #spicymayo #ricebowl

Garlic Butter Lobster Tails 🦞🧄✨ "Juicy, tender lobster tails broiled to perfection and drenched in a rich, garlicky butter sauce—simple elegance on a plate." Ingredients: 4 lobster tails (6–8 oz each) 1/3 cup unsalted butter, melted 3 garlic cloves, minced 1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice 1 teaspoon smoked paprika Salt and black pepper, to taste 1 tablespoon fresh parsley, chopped (for garnish) Lemon wedges (for serving) Instructions: 1️⃣ Prepare the Lobster Tails: Preheat your oven to broil and position the rack about 6 inches from the heat source. Using kitchen shears, cut along the top shell of each lobster tail, lengthwise, stopping at the tail. Gently pull the lobster meat out of the shell, resting it on top for an elegant presentation. Pat the lobster meat dry with a paper towel. 2️⃣ Make the Garlic Butter Sauce: In a small bowl, mix the melted butter, minced garlic, lemon juice, smoked paprika, salt, and black pepper. 3️⃣ Season the Lobster Tails: Place the prepared lobster tails on a baking sheet lined with foil. Brush the lobster meat generously with the garlic butter sauce, ensuring it’s fully coated. 4️⃣ Broil the Lobster Tails: Broil the lobster tails for 8–10 minutes, brushing them with more garlic butter halfway through. The lobster meat should be opaque and slightly golden when done. 5️⃣ Garnish and Serve: Remove from the oven and brush with any remaining garlic butter sauce. Garnish with fresh parsley and serve with lemon wedges for squeezing. Optional Pairings: Pair with creamy mashed potatoes, roasted vegetables, or a fresh side salad for a complete meal. Prep Time: 10 minutes | Cook Time: 10 minutes | Total Time: 20 minutes Calories: ~250 kcal per serving | Servings: 4

Seems Rs have forgotten something

Thought I would see a car accident...

Someone wrote TACO outside the fucking Trump International Hotel in Manhattan, New York City.

Creo que voy a quedarme los 8 noches

Madlad gave 5 star Review to a Police Station

They probably use FedEx too